So what’s it like living in Auckland pt 2 – Customer Service
// March 31st, 2009 // New Zealand
One of the real joys of living in New Zealand is the friendliness of the people here. Its like living in an big village, while you don’t know each other directly you know of each other, because you all live in the big village and you must be a nice person because all people in the village are nice and so we’ll assume you are and be nice to you anyway. On public transport, in the street, in shops, at work, when calling customer service of companies it reminds you of how things used to be me, a simple time.
I just called to cancel our telephone line, the conversation I had was a good example of what I’m talking about. Here it is:
photo credit: steve p2008
Patricia: Hi thanks for calling Telecom, this is Patricia, I understand you would like to make a change to your account?
Me: Yes I’d like to cancel it please.
Patricia: Oh that’s a shame, why’s that?
Me: I’m going overseas.
Patricia: Oh! Not you too, every second call is someone going overseas. Headingback to the UK?
Me: No I’m moving to Germany
Patricia: Germany, wow, that’s a fantastic place I was there last summer. My son is just coming back from 6 years in the UK.
Me: So everyone’s leaving aye, can’t understand why?
Patricia: You being sarcastic?
Me: Absolutely not.
Patricia: Is it because of the financial crisis? A lot of people say they are leaving because of that.
Me: No not because of that, I think Europe is probably way worse affected than NZ anyway, so that probably wouldn’t be a good reason to leave
Patricia: When would you like your line canceled?
Me: How about Monday?
Patricia: The 6th?
Me: That’d be it.
Patricia: Okay no problem, can I text you to confirm?
Me: Can you mail me instead?
Patricia: Sure, what’s your email address?
Me: myname@gmail.com
Patricia: oh, I have a gmail as well, its fantastic isn’t it! And I have Picasa for my pictures and it lets me have my own website, but now its full and I’m not paying.
Me: Ah yeah, you’re very technologically literate, I’d never get my mum off hotmail.
Patricia: Oh but google is fantastic they are the biggest internet provider, so you know they must be good. With gmail you can keep all your mail so you never lose anything, and on my home machine I have igoogle.
Me: You’re restoring my faith in older generations.
Patricia: he he, thank you. Did you get my email?
Me: I haven’t looked, but I trust you.
Patricia: Oh okay, nice to hear someone does, I don’t trust myself half the time these days. Right well that’s all sorted then, have a fantastic time in Germany, all the best, nice talking to you!
Me: You too, bye!
When Annett called the electricity people to cancel they said, just call us up on your final day and they”ll pop straight over and read the meter straight away?!?! How mental, “we’re just going to pop round, put the kettle on and we’ll have a read of your meter before you go.”
Same request in the UK would have resulted in
photo credit: lovely lemur
Me: I’d like to cancel my account please?
UK Customer Service Representative: You’ll need to call our special account deactivation center on xxxxxxxxxx
Me: Can you just put me through?
UK Customer Service Representative: No.
(I call the special account deactivation center)
UK Customer Service Representative: Ah I can see you’re in Cambridge, you’ll need to your regional deactivation center on xxxxxxxx
(I finally get through to correct dept)
UK Customer Service Representative: Before I can talk to you I’ll need to just confirm some security questions
- What was your imaginary friend called when you were 7?
- What would you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?
- What did I have dinner last night?
- What’s your next door neighbours maiden name?
(thanks for confirming those, that’ll certainly help when I become disgruntled at my job, quit and use this information to steal your identity)
Me: So how do I cancel my account?
UK Customer Service Representative: Please fill and post a E123g form, you can get it from the website
Me: Can I email it in?
UK Customer Service Representative: No.
Me: Fax?
UK Customer Service Representative: No.
Me: Is there any other way to cancel?
UK Customer Service Representative: No.
Me: How much notice do I have to give?
UK Customer Service Representative: 1 decade.
Me: When will you come and read the meter?
UK Customer Service Representative: We’ll send round an Albanian refugee in approx three weeks. He speaks no English and has had only 7 minutes training. Because we pay him only in peanuts its possible he’ll try and pilfer water from your outside tap, so you might want to stand guard over that. Good day!
I will greatly miss New Zealand customer service. Getting set up here was so simple, so easy when we went to open bank accounts it took just 45mins, we came out with the accounts open, our bank cards in our hand, a pin we’d selected and a personal walkthrough of how to use the ATM.
If it’s so simple here, why does it have to be such a pain in the ass everywhere else?
Only 6 days left in NZ, today the first official day of unemployment or self-employment if you prefer to view my glass as half full. More posts and updates to come in the next few days.
Possibly related, hopefully entertaining other posts:
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Hariishanka Alipat
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fletchy
