The Zig

Sieben Tag Deutsch Herausforderung (7 day German challenge)

// June 28th, 2009 // Germany, Language Learning

In the last four weeks German progression has been, if I’m generous to myself – slow. If I were being mean I’d say – non existent, cruel would be something closer to – absolutely nothing, you’ve gotten worse you lazy bastard.

So time for drastic measures. I’m the sort of person who can only get motivated if I turn things into challenges, which I communicate publicly and knowing that you’re all sitting at home and waiting for me to fail and look silly, I soldier on and get some done before you get bored and stop checking and then I can just quit and look silly privately.

Let’s give that a go.

After four weeks of skipped intensive German class, whilst getting better after the op (I can now sit for a few hours, enough to go back to class I’d say) I’ve missed something like 66hrs of class, which to put in context compares unfavorably to the 33hrs I actually went. As one of the worst in the class at that point, I’ve definitely missed enough to make it not worth going back. I like to pretend the powers that be stopped me learning by striking me down with that nasty cyst thingy, but more likely is that I gave it to myself to get me out of class, which was at the very intense end of intense for a language retard like me.

Now I need to step back up to the language pool and dip my big toe back in the water. I present you the

Sieben Tag Deutsch, Deutsch….um….argh

(shouting) “Annett what’s the German word for Challenge?”

“Herausfirduyniansgujdjfdung”

Me: “Come again?”

“Herausfirsjdhjsdjsdsung”

Me: “No just the word please, not the dictation of your debut novel. Say it s-l-o-w-l-y….”

Her Raus Ford Er Ung

There, in that one word, is why I’ll always be shit at German.

This reminds me of a conversation I had last weekend in Berlin, at the International T-shirt Day event although with who I’ve forgotten, other than that it was a girl.

“What’s this called in English, the thing you hang clothes on?”.

Me:  “Um, a hanger”.

She laughs with a look of disbelief, “Your kidding me? That’s so simple, ah English”.

Me: “Yes while its very nice that you have lots of long complicated words for everything, like when you’ve mis-buttoned your clothes (ferknupfen, if you’re interested), but we like to keep our language very simple so that everyone can speak it. Which I’m sure you’ll agree is very commendable.”

“What is hanger in German by the way?”

Bugel.

Ah great, a new word for me to instantly forget.

So Sieben Tag Deutsch HerRausFordErUng

The rules: No English for 7 days, starting……now. If I break a rule I must put 5cents per word in

At the end I can give it to charity, a beggar or the Casino or something.

Of course there are exceptions:

- Annett gets two twenty minute “Get out of German free cards”. In English I’m a reasonably interesting guy to talk to, I mean if no-one else is around, and your expectations are low. In German I’m a balding, moronic, one year child with no concept of grammar. So this challenge will be as painful for Annett as for me, if there’s something we really have to talk about that’s important, she can play one of her twenty minute “Get out of German free card”.

- I can speak English when speaking to people who can’t speak German. Like most of you, hence this is in English. Or people on Twitter. Or people on email who don’t speak German.

- I can speak English with my Graphic Designer guy, who is German but who may produce a steaming turd rather than the new website of my dreams, if I’m forced to talk to him in German. So he is exempt.

The time is 7pm, the day is Sunday the 28th of June. Hier beginnen meine sieben tag Deutsch HerRausFordErUng.

Update: 7:40pm – First accidental English word spoken, first 5cent coin in cup.

Update: 11:06pm – Broke the rules to say the punchline of a joke (my own and very fantastic I have to say) couldn’t say it in German, cost me 45cents, but worth it.

Possibly related, hopefully entertaining other posts:

• Learning German and German Class