Adam Fletchers – The Zig

Opposites detract.

// July 7th, 2009 // relationships

In seems a few people were a little confused by my Facebook status update announcing that I’m moving out to my own place. I’m sorry potential suitors but I’m not single now, Annett and I are still together and functioning in the usual dysfunctional one big argument from self-destruction state we call relationship normality.

It’s been a hard few months, Annett would probably be the first to admit she’s somewhat of an emotional train wreck at the best of times. Lately shes been completely consumed by job hunting. She has no off switch, so this task and the failure to complete it so far, haunts her every waking moment, and turns her into one irritable little motherfucker. I’m an insensitive arrogant delusional dreamer which can also have an irritating effect, like cheap washing powder.

We’ve always argued a lot, its part of how we work, but this is an example of how easy its been to start an argument lately:

me: whistling

her: are you whistling?

me: yep

her: could you not

me: why not? what could possibly be wrong with whistling

her: I’m trying to concentrate, your whistling is annoying me

me: who ever heard of a person who had a problem with whistling?

her: I have a problem with it, its annoying

me: Oh yeah because being a miserable bastard all the time is absolutely not irritating. I’m a kind of happy sort of person, I like whistling I’m not sure I can just stop.

her: If you don’t stop singing this second I’m going to take a blunt object and I’m going to repeatedly shove it into your eye, then I’m going to open the third floor window and with you hopelessly blinded I’m going to push you out of it. Then I’m going to hire a car and reverse repeatedly over your carcass.

me: singing

her: ARE YOU SINGING?!?!

(and repeat)

The biggest problem is that we are absolute opposites in every way. Yeah I know every couple says that because one person likes cheese and the other person doesn’t and instead likes Carrots, or Abba or something like that. But we actually are polar opposites, the only thing we have in common is that both of us have nothing in common.

Here is graph illustrating the full spectrum of possible personalities and our positioning on them

(click for larger image)

So you can see why we have problems aligning our world views. When times are good those differences are fun, they’re the catalysts for our most interesting conversations which usually end with Annett going “you’re such a filthy capitalist pig” and “I hate the stupid real world” and all those other little sweet nothings she likes to whisper at me before stamping her feet and walking off.

Recent times would not classify as part of those aforementioned “good times”. With no home, no stuff, no plan, no jobs and the fact that the flat we’re temporarily living in now is smaller than the size of your average microwave oven its been a challenge. It’s so small if one person stretches their arms, the other has to duck or they end up with a black eye. In recent weeks we’ve been generating more friction than a sandpaper orgy.

So that is why we’ve decided to ease a little pressure and I’ll move out now rather than waiting for Annett to find a job. This is because I’ve decided to stay in Leipzig, regardless of where Annett finds work which if all goes well will only be Berlin anyway which is just round the corner. It’s very cheap here which suits my sabbatical, my friends are here and I have such few in the rest of the world, the fluke that I found some here is unlikely to be repeated elsewhere and therefore should be cherished. I also have a new mini project starting up with Ami and Pete both of which are in Leipzig (or maybe Berlin in Pete’s case) so I need to stay around here. After five months of travelling together, one year living in a country where you know almost no-one but each other we’ve spent a serious amount of time together and there’s nothing backward or negative about taking a little time to discover yourself again.

I’ll of course split my time between here and wherever Annett is, while I’m self-employed I can pretend to work anyway so that is not really an issue. In the meantime Annett can have the whole microwave oven to herself while she looks for jobs and seeing each other can become something to look forward to again at the end of the day, not something we absolutely can’t avoid and spend the whole day and night doing.

In case you’re wondering I also plan to do shit loads of whistling in my new flat! Oh yeah…

Possibly related, hopefully entertaining other posts:

• Just Do Weird Shit Pt.2
• The Zig goes………Away from the Zig
• How cool are you?
• bored.
• Look out for the little guy