Why do i find it so hard to eat healthily in a country where your deemed morbidly obese if your clothing size has two numbers. its lunchtime I’ve just finished breakfast, and now I’m tucking into a smarties “klapper klaus”. Its a 10inch high chocolate Santa Claus with smarties inside. Target age probably about 7. This was the conversation I had with myself when I saw it in the supermarket (Mone took me to this almost english sized one on the outskirts of the city):

Oooh the Easter eggs are out. These dont like like our easter eggs, snigger snigger backwards german people and their lame attempt’s at commercialism….

Maybe they don’t have easter eggs here, maybe they have klapper klaus’ instead…

Well in that case its my cultural obligation to purchase one then if they are an important part of german easter.

I pick one up (consuming as much german culture as possible is a top priority, apart from the language of course

A few minutes later after being literally flawed by the prices in the alcohol section…

Hang on a minute, this isn’t a quintessentially german easter egg, its not easter, its christmas. hang on the guy with the beard on it looks familiar?! klapper klaus?! hum, klaus that word sounds a little familiar,come on brain try to translate…. what could it be, klause—-pause? nope, —snores? nope, —chores? getting closer, but not quite –clause? nearly- claus! jackpot. the fuckers, they tricked me this no german easter egg its some novelty christmas chocolate. easters in april, how can I be so dumb. Oh well,  culture is over-rated anyway and i’m having it now. Once somethings in the trolley an emotional bond is created that is far to strong for mere rational thought to break.