I’m planning a proper post on how I’m finding New Zealand so far. I’ll probably put it on HipHipUK though, the Zig type stuff that I don’t mind just anyone reading will be on there from now on. It’s be a t-shirt free blog at last, as I don’t have to fund the traveling trip and Tjunction is making a tidy amount.
Whats the point of this post? Well after a mind-numbing 1.5hr spent researching discounted beds for the beds affiliate site, I need a break before I tackle wine or supermarkets. Its impressive that I picked these three niches when I’ve never brought a bed, don’t like wine and don’t buy my groceries online. Actually maybe its more impressive that they make money. Whatever.
Get to the point. What was the good news? Ah yes, I’ve finally uploaded pictures of the flat onto flickr. The plan was to do it earlier but the flat was always too messy. Annetts out working (short-term temp thing) so like the little bitch I am, I just cleaned the place up and now its dazzling clean. So go and take a look at where we live now if you’re interested. We’re off to the capital Wellington for a few days now, enjoying my last days of freedom before I start work on Monday 
After 5mnths off its going to be a big culture shock to re-enter the world of working. Grrr. If you don’t know where I’m working you can read about it on HipHipUK
That it? Yep, now get back to what you were doing.
Let me welcome you to “Laos, the Land of Smiles”. Not always the nicest smiles, not an abundance of teeth here in Laos it seems, but earnest enthusiastic smiles none the less. You have to laugh when you see farangs (their word for foreigners) handing out sweets to children on the bus, delivering a final sugary deathblow to whatever rotting teeth they did have.
Laos people are the most friendly of any country I’ve been too, I’m going to guess ever as I don’t have a good enough memory to compare them with the other 21 countries I’ve been too (I counted for a who’s traveled the most contest with Annett the other day).
I guess many of you will have never heard of Laos, thats okay I hadn’t either before stumbling upon it on a map before the trip, there nestled snuggly between Thailand and Vietnam. Here’s the basics:
1. It borders Cambodia at the bottom, Thailand to the left and Vietnam to the right. Its been open for Tourism for approx 10 years. Its seperated from Thailand by the huge Maekong river. Here you can see Annett sitting on the banks of Thailand looking across the river at Laos.
So close you could throw a stone across. Wouldn’t reach. But you could still throw it.
2. There are no Mcdonalds here (woohoo)!
3. The Capital is Vientaine. Its the capital because it has more fat, bald ex-pats on mopeds per capita than any other city (I think a measurement criteria borrowed from Thailand). Once the other cities here (of which there are only 5 or 6, and I use city liberally as they are in fact, towns) become more developed they too will have a thriving fat western on moped population making you fearful to cross the road (hurry capitalism hurry).
4. Its famous for absolutely nothing. This provides it pleasant shelter from stereotyping, pigeonholing, prejudice and more fat western men on mopeds. Its a little gem of a country. I think eventually when it comes out of beta it will be famous for its people, who are incredibly hospitable. They’re also unaware or unwilling to view westerners as walking atms which makes it a pleasure to travel here.
Right now as I write this I’m sitting at a wooden bar, behind a wooden table, on a wooden chair (smelling a theme yet?), with a sleeping (non-wooden) cat on my lap who won’t leave me alone no matter how much disinterest I show him. I’m looking out across overflowing greenery towards the corner of the wooden bungalow that Annett is sleeping in. All of these things were built by a mental but entertaining, rambling Irishman called Jo. Jo in a former life before settling here and marrying a Laos woman was (you might not be surprised to hear) a Ozzy Osbourne Impersonator Carpenter. Now he’s a mental former carpenter with an entirely wooden hostel, which I guess is a good sort of mental. Checkout one of his story gems:
Well we had this dog “Bobby Dog”, which was our other dog “Bobbys” son, we don’t really go in for naming dogs here like. So, well there was two dogs Bobby and Bobby Dog. Bobby Dog started fucking wandering around in the daytime away from this place [the hostel]. Well anyway I knew where she was hanging around and she used to come back in the evenings. Then one day he didn’t come back so I went over the fucking Sunset Tree restaurant where I knew she was hanging about and begging for food and I’ve said to them yeah
Wheres Bobby dog?
And they’ve said well we started hanging round and begging more and more, a bit more boisterously, you know nose in crotch and all that fucking business. So, they killed and ate him.
I tell you this story firstly because I found his deadpan delivery of it pretty hilarious, secondly because I know it will stop my dog samaritan sister sleeping at night and thats the sort of nasty brother I am. But the main reason I’m repeating that stories from amongst the other mountain of story gems we’ve heard in Laos is because it nicely highlights one thing Laos doesn’t have - rules.
More on that in pt.2 tomorrow.
I’ve always believed that fundamentally there are two types of people in the world, the do-er and thinker. While there might be a 100 sub-categories of each, there are still these two classifications that you can apply as a general rule, to the whole of humanity. Combine a do-er and a thinker in personal or professional life and the results can be astounding, combine two thinkers and while on the one hand it will be a great party, it will only be because a do-er has hosted it, two thinkers couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery. They could think up all the components of a great party, but would fall at the first hurdle, usually getting out of bed or locating a brewery, beer, friends or some combination of the three, either way were all staying sober or drinking in do-er hosted parties as normal.
I’m a thinker, which is both a blessing, and a curse. Whilst for all the money in the world I could never put up a shelf, while a do-er is demasculating me and putting it up, I’ve already analysed the profit for every manufacturer in the shelf supply chain, decided what and how should be stored on the shelf, solved world hunger (a plan never to be put into action) and prepared the reward (that i’ll never get round to organising) for the person putting up the shelf. Do-er’s have the same blessing/curse as the the thinkers. Do-ers, while great at putting up shelving are slaves to the moment, acting on impulse without the fore/hindsight to see the picture and context for their actions, which can mean that whilst active they are ultimately inefficent, headless chicken syndrome I guess you could call it.
The more I think about it, the more I want to be a do-er. I’m being left behind by do-ers who rather than talking their entire lives of doing all the things that they want to do (I’m thinking mainly about starting business’ here, my long time plan delayed by good job opportunities), they just do them, falling into things like I do my bed. Why, it might not be obvious, or even matter they just do them and the rest they’ll figure out later. I spend a life time figuring out that whilst i’m good at figuring out, i’m shit at taking that figuring and turning it into anything meaningful, I think long-term the odds for my peace of mind are low, the amount of time I spent building expectations only a do-er could hit, the further I get from what I want to do.
Can a thinker become a do-er? I have no idea, but I’m losing that warm and snuggly feeling thinkers get from late night pondering, and an increasing desire to just do something, even if it a spectacular, epic failure, just so at some point I can bore people with the story of me doing something, rather than planning to do something.
Well actually if you know me well, you probably will. But I answered Jana’s tag (you say five things, then pick five people) over at HipHipUK.
Last week I had me and my new lady had our half year anniversary. 6 months in the zig, or zich as its actually pronounced but I dont like to use. Now feels like the time I should write a long, self-indulgent “so what have we learnt post”. The sort of dribble you get at the end of episodes of scrubs, childrens shows, infact just about every show. Its the redemption part, wrongs are righted, lessons are learned and usually if we’re really lucky its all accompanied by a voice over. Here goes - “It turned everything was going to be okay after all, little timmys infection cleared up, I went back to school and got an education, I worked hard and got what I deserved as you will too if you just work hard and keep your head down. Okay so i cheated, the last part isnt actually said, its just implied.
Well I have good news, everything has gone well. I’ve coined a term for the first six months “celemiseraton”. Celebration laced with a little commiseration. All my personal relationships from the UK have suffered (the most important one beyond repair, which hurts) but I’ve also gained many new ones, done many things I never would have before, and learnt a huge amount. I guess you dont know your in a cage until you’ve walked far enough from the middle.
Theres still one thing I dont get and this seems as suitably irrelevant time to bring it up. Its been bugging me….sauerkraut. Everything about it is wrong. This will need some explaining for the non-native speakers. Sour kraut is an insult you (or at least I) might say to or of a miserable looking woman. “She’s a bit of a sour faced old kraut”. So me and sauerkraut got off on a bad start. To me its a double insult, for a miserable woman, like ordering “dipshit” or “miserablebastard” with my german sausage. It also tastes as nasty as it sounds. I’d be tempted to say that is the reason why it hasnt been adopted into the cuisine of other countries, that only the good stuff goes global, but the lack of Baked Beans here disproves that particular theory.
Almost everything here fits me better. Its wrong to say its better, but it fits me better. My only concern is that I might become addicted to ripping my life up and starting again every few years, that i’ve scratched an itch. I guess time will tell. There’s a million things I should write for this to be a proper recap post but I guess that stuff might come come out in time if i start posting some more. Anyway, while I’m here writing this I cant imagine many places I’d rather be.
Redemption complete, lessons learned, end voiceover, roll credits.
I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it, I’ve got plenty to say but no time to say it,
Shock Shock horror I’m planning an update for this weekend! theres probably more chance you’ll win the euro millions lottery jackpot, but ever the optimist and all the jazz.
I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to say, probably…
Word of the day - Die Rechnung Bitte (the bill please)
Its been a while since I posted, things are very busy in the zig, I get the impression things are always busy here. I was discussing with Mattheus that the problem with the german economy is that the standard of living is so high that know one can be bothered to work too hard. There is too much to see, people to meet and fun to be had to spend every hour of the day at work.
My german is progressing slowly, when I say slowly I mean not at all. I came here knowing good morning, good evening and good night. I can now add to that impressive list:
so I havent posted for a while, im still alive though incase anyones worried. There’s some kind of public holiday tomorrow so I should hopefully have the time for a post or two.
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