Despite us regularly being reminded on our trip that Cambodia is one of the poorest countries in the world, it was actually one of the most expensive we visited with accommodation costs reaching a dazzling (I hope you’re sitting down) $8 each a night! But is not poor in all aspects, in fact, if ants were legal tender Cambodia would be a world economic superpower! There’d be Cambodians buying up mansions in Kensington left, right and centre, moving in four generations of their family, with photocopies of the Lonely Planet blowing everywhere in the London breeze. Its also incredibly hot, I got my first ever dose of heatstroke and had to buy a little communist hat to cover the patches of my head where once instead of anxiety, hair grew.
Anyway in this post I wanted to introduce you to some of the people we met in Cambodia. While I’d say it wasn’t either of our favourite countries, I did have the best conversations here. I think that’s because speaking English in Cambodia is the fastest way to jump out of poverty, there’s little economy beyond tourism unlike in countries like Vietnam or China with economies not dependent on Tourism. So Cambodians speak very good English and it was great to be able to interact more with the people we met, travellers are obsessed with finding the “real” people or places within a country. In reality if you can’t talk to the people you meet there and find out their story then whats the point? That wasn’t a problem in Cambodia and I was fortunate enough to spend the day with this guy:
Onon. He was my guide for the day around Battambang for which he earned with tip and after gas about $6, not a bad days wage. He’s 27, the oldest of six children who all live together with his parents in a village outside of Battambang. He spoke the best English of almost anybody non-European we met, because he studied it for two hours every morning at College. This along with the brand new scooter we spent the day riding, was paid for by an Englishman who he called his Godfather. He said that a few years back he had taken this man out for the day as he and his friend did for me and Annett. They bonded, which I didn’t find hard to imagine as we both spent the whole day laughing and playing around, Onon was really good fun. He said that before he met this man he didn’t really like his life, but that after the tour they stayed in touch the man who works as an English teacher in France set him up with an email address, and started to pay for him to study English and brought him this moped so he could go out and earn money for his family. As the eldest son he is party responsible to help feed his brothers and sisters. Now he said he can make decent money and he really enjoys his life.
He also told me lots of interesting things about Cambodian life:
Sex before marriage is still heavily frowned upon, with 60% of people still virgins until Marriage. After discussing it he seemed in favour of the the rather more liberal European system so that he could change girlfriend every few years and see what he liked, in Cambodia he gets only one choice and if he makes the wrong one he’s stuck (divorce is heavily frowned upon, as it brings shame to the family and is extremely expensive).
They have devised a brilliant system for stopping unwanted pregnancies and casual sex - once you’ve had sex with a woman you’re obliged to marry her. If not she can go to the police and report you. It doesn’t matter that it was consensual, now that you’ve sampled the product you are obliged to purchase marry it.
Wait, you must be joking right? Nope, whats the alternative?
Prison.
3 years of prison or a hefty bribe (Cambodia is totally corrupt, they don’t even have roads apparently because the airlines bribed the government not to build them so tourists have to fly between the major cities or take the pain of gruelling bumpy 10hr+ car rides). So I asked him what happens if the woman sees a man she wants to marry, but gets rejected because God made only the smallest deposit into her personality bank. He said she can just go the police and say they had sex and he is refusing to marry her. There is no way to prove or not that they did or didn’t have sex (they won’t do a physical check or anything), so they just assume they did have sex and the guy is screwed (regardless of whether or not he was the first time), with a prison sentence, marriage (some would say there’s little difference) or a hefty bribe (part of which the woman gets as well apparently, adding a nice extortion business opportunity angle for the Cambodian fairer sex).
This does happen apparently, women can trap men they want to marry and there’s not much they can do to get out of it. Not the best start to your married life I imagine, but skips all that unpleasant period of early happiness and jumps you nicely on to the bad times. Might cause a few problems at dinner parties:
Friend: So how did you too meet?
Wife: Ah that’s an interesting story isn’t it honey! I went to the police and pretended that we’d had sex and that he didn’t want to marry me. So the police arrested him, beat him up a bit, tried to bribe him but found out he had no money. Anyway, eventually they convinced him that it would be best for everybody if we just got married. He thought he was probably too pretty for prison and so eventually he relented and agreed to marry me didn’t you sweety?
Husband: (mumbling) I’m going to kill you in your sleep.
Friend: Ah, what a cute story you guys are adorable together.
